Hot Dog Month: Naked

Sunday, August 2, 2009

Naked

Today was pretty weak in terms of hot dog consumption. Still no buns. All I could muster was a single hot dog enjoyed just as the good Lord intended: buck ass nekkid. (I'm talking about the hot dog; I was fully clothed at the time.)

At this point, I'd like to bring this blog back to its roots in Mathematics, in order to set some expectations. I don't see how I could possibly consume 100 hot dogs in a month, and I believe that The Mole's record will stand. However...

As you know, Mexicans are comparatively short people, and I'm no exception*: 5' 10". The Mole stands at a freakish 6' 7", if memory serves.

5' 10" = 70 inches

6' 7" = 79 inches

70 / 79 = 0.886

0.886 * 100 hot dogs = 88.6 hot dogs

Therefore, on a weighted scale I will shatter The Mole's record as I nibble through the last third of my 88th hot dog.

Hot Dog Count: 4

Dog on...

* As a reminder, I'm still not Mexican.

No comments:

Post a Comment

About This Blog

The Mole declared July, 2009 "Hot Dog Month." He decided to see how many hot dogs he could eat in a month and blogged about his experience. He ate 100 hot dogs (and lost 4 pounds). It is like "Super Size Me" without the medical supervision. This blog is 50% hot dog related, 50% random nonsense, and 50% math problems.

Each month a new hot dog eating blogger takes over and writes about their various meat-related experiences. From sampling the local dogs to finding creative ways to inject tubemeat into their diets, these brave Americans are celebrating our country's greatest foodstuff and improving their lives. Think of it as the American Heart Association's worst case scenario for a "Pay It Forward" concept. This month's Blogger is The Buckeye (more below).

This Month's Hot Dog Blogger

The Buckeye is the first female hot dog blogger. She lives in Omaha and works for the Chamber of Commerce where she spends most of her time developing programs and incentives to lure hot dog related industry to Omaha. Dogs, buns, condiments, doesn't matter. If your business is in any way related to hot dogs you do not have to pay any taxes in Omaha. When she is not doing that she runs the Chamber's Leadership Omaha program which will now include a full day session on hot dog appreciation and awareness. The Buckeye hails from Ohio, and if she does a good job we'll give her a sticker for her head. Yes, it might look a little silly but I'm not the one who told her she can't wear a helmet to work.

Past Results

January - The Buckeye. In progress.

December - The Boz. 86.5 hot dogs, 18% increase in swagger, 14% decrease in life expectancy.

November - The Sausage King of Chicago. 74 hot dogs, 25% increase in skin discoloration, 19% increase in medical insurance premiums.

October - The Pig. 55 hot dogs, 8% decrease in criminal convictions, 44% increase in sausage-related bribes.

September, 2009 - The Big Doug. 64 hot dogs, 22% increase in elegance, 41% increase in robustitude.

August, 2009 - The Mexican. 63 hot dogs, 45% increase in package, 80% increase in orange tinted tan.

July, 2009 - The Mole. 100 hot dogs, 58% increase in sexiness, and 47% increase in awesomeness.

Hot Dog Month