BONUS BLOG POST FROM THE MOLE!!

For those of you (The Mexican and my wife) who followed the Mole's inaugural hot dog voyage in July you may recall the entry called the Hot Dog Diet. Kind of tongue in cheek, but I did lose 4 pounds during the month in which I ate 100 hot dogs.

Well, the good news just keeps on coming. Yesterday I had some bloodwork done and my cholesterol is off the charts - good! Compared to a year ago I shaved 50 points off my bad cholesterol and added 15 to my good. Blood pressure is 100/44. Thats right, I'm 18 again. Its like a hot dog fueled time machine for your heart. I had the following exchange with my female doctor:

"So did you do anything different lately, are your working out a lot?"

"Well, in July I ate 100 hot dogs."

Blank stare.

"I just started eating them and decided to see how many I could eat and wrote a blog about it."

Blank stare. "Really? Why?"

"Well, until now I never really had a good reason, but now I can tell people that I did it for my health and I have your medical opinion to support the results that hot dogs lower cholesterol and blood pressure while adding to the enjoyment of life."

Blank stare. "Anything else?"

"Just diet and exercise, but there is no reason to believe that had any impact. Lots of people try that."

I'm still quite certain she doesn't really know what happened during that conversation, so it may be a bit more difficult to get her to sign on to be our medical spokesperson when we do the infomercial. Nevertheless, science don't lie (unless we're talking about evolution). So to The Mexican and all future Hot Dog Bloggers, now you have a response for those Whole Foods types that are questioning the health effects of eating hot dogs for a month. In fact, I dream of a day that hot dogs are prescribed for their medicinal value. Broken leg? 50 hot dogs. Obesity? Eat lower fat hot dogs (and try to keep it to 5 per feeding). Diabetes? Wilford Brimley says to eat hot dogs with Splenda.

Hear that Obama? You are from Chicago, home of the greatest dog. You are missing a golden opportunity to combine Chicago dogs with your health care reform and become the greatest President ever. Instead, you are throwing terribly attended parties at the White House (free beer and only two people show up? Lame friends.) I knew we should have elected a grown up. Maybe if you would have had a Chicago dog you would have had the strength to throw a baseball all the way to home plate. Or wear boy pants. Nevertheless, lets not let our girly president detract from the staggering medical study performed by one person on one person with no control and no real testing protocol. Lets simply take a few facts out of context and blend them together to support our pre-determined result. Hot dogs, consumed in large quantities, improve overall health, heart health, cholesterol, and general awesomeness.

And Happy Birthday to The Mexican. Hot dogs can even make you older. Is there anything they can't do?

Dog on. . . .