Goodbye Loose Meats. Hello Tube Meats.

It is Saturday, August 1st, 2009, 10:20 AM. I'm wearing boxer shorts and an old Gap t-shirt encrusted with baby spit-up. I stumble to the kitchen, open up the 'fridge, and locate an unopened package of Hebrew National hot dogs. As I slice into the bag, the sweet smell of beefy goodness overwhelms me. I savor the moment. It's finally here, the first day of Hot Dog Month. The beginning of the end of my life?

When my friend The Mole first introduced the idea of eating hot dogs for an entire month, I thought it was pretty stupid and a little crazy. But as he soldiered through the month, sucking down scores of hot dogs on his way to 100, I began to see the beauty in his campaign. It was something that I wanted to be a part of, though to this day I can't exactly explain why.

Sometime around the third week of July, in what I assume was some sort of spiritual, hot-dog induced trance, The Mole was inspired with a vision of genius:

Pass the torch, month after month, so that others may find their way in life through the consumption of high-fat cylinders of ground animal parts.

I am so humbled and honored to be the second link in what I assume will be a chain of tube-meat eaters that stretches throughout eternity.

Now, I'd like to clear up a few things in this, my first post of Hot Dog Month:

1. Yes, I was a vegetarian, even a vegan, not so long ago. I view my participation in HDM as repentance for that dark period in my life. That said, I'd like to point out one thing: except for the wiener part, a hot dog is a vegan-friendly food. No animals are harmed in the making of a hot dog. Again, except for the actual wiener.
2. My blog name identifies me as The Mexican. I am not actually Mexican, as far as anyone can tell, though I am proud to be associated with the peoples of Mexico. I do have an unusual penchant for low-rider automobiles, Tequila, and spicy foods. I also bear children in broods.
3. I would not be able to do this without the support of my sponsor, Medtronic, Inc. Their generous donations will help to keep my pantry well-stocked with all of the supplies and equipment required to participate in Hot Dog Month. That reminds me: come out an see me on August 8th. I'll be at Matt's Chicago Dog in Sandy Springs, handing out free samples of Medtronic's latest implantable cardioverter-defibrillator.

Back in the kitchen. I'm not quite sure how to prepare my first hot dog. For one, I have no buns. Also, it is now 10:21 AM. Not exactly hot dog hour. Back in the 'fridge, I grab some eggs and milk. It is time for a Hot Dog Scramble.

Hot Dogs Consumed: 1

Dog on ...