I won't be back

I feel I have become a god. Me and the hot dog are one.

I had 1 large Summer Sausage and will consume a crock full of little weiners tonight. I gave myself an extra 6 dogs for this feat.

Thanks to all who read these blurbs and followed along. I wish the next Dog On'er to carry on the torch and relish in the honor that it is to brag about the dog.

I had a great time. I do not feel well though. I can't wait for detox to begin.

One more day

So a good friend of mine is in town who has read the read the blog is on a quest to eat all my favs.

He has been here 2 days and ate 6 dogs.... I had to keep up with him.

His name will be the Schlong. Some people call him Longren.

Regardless, the answer (thats me the Boz) is now struggling. I am having difficulties keeping the dogs down and have to wash everything down with Pepto and tums. Longren says it is oatmeal that keeps him healthy. All I know is that I do not feel weel and can not wait for detox to start.

I think I have 3-6 more dogs left in me unless I go for the 20 spot tomorrow which would require an act of God.

I have gained 17 pounds this month and feel like bloated road kill.

Ghost of Christmas Past

I have some catching up to do, so here are some pictures on the long Christmas Break:







Raising the Flag on Christmas Day with hot dogs to boot. So American.

Here is a story I shared with my children on Christmas, have a great Holiday. These next 4 days are going to be fun.

T'was the Night Before Hot Dog Christmas

A Visit from St. Frankfurter

With Apologies to Clement C. Moore

'Twas the night before Hot Dog Christmas, when all through

the hut, the chili was warming, the steamer was shut;

The buns were all packed in the basket with care

In hopes that St. Frankfurter soon would be there;

The hot dogs were sweating all snug in their beds,

While lines of ketchup graced their crowned heads;

And mamma in her kaiser, and I in my roll,

Had just just got done with our long daily roll.

When out in the kitchen there arose such a clatter,

I sprang from the roller to see what was the matter.

Away to the steamer, I stepped in some custard;

Tore open the shutters and threw on some mustard.

The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow

Gave the luster of mid-day to objects below,

When, what to my non-existent eyes was blank,

But miniature wieners, swimming in BBQ stank,

With a little old driver, so lively and harefooted,

I knew in a moment it must be St. Frankfurter-erted.

More rapid than ex-lax his bloating they came,

And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name:

"Now, _Fairbury!_ now, _Hebrew!_ now, _Armour_ and _Nathans!_

On, _Oscar!_ on, _Wimmer!_ on, _Hippy_ and _Sahlens!_

To the top of the hut! to the top of the wall!

Now roll away! roll away! roll away all!"

As dry buns that before the wild chili fly,

When they meet with a bowel obstruction, push you may try;

So up to the hut-top the wieners they flew,

With the bag full of Hot Dogs, and St. Frankfurter too.

He sprang to the rollers, to his team gave a whistle,

And away they all were devoured, by some guy named Missal.

But I heard him exclaim, as he rolled in his own goo pond,

"Happy Christmas to all, and to all:

Dog on!"

Sidebar: making progress?

Sidebar: Have you guys noticed the google ads on the side of the page lately? Nothing but dogs, and the occasional Disney Princess ad. I think this means something.

It's A Wonderful Dog

Teacher says that everytime a bell rings, a hot dog is eaten.

That's right!

Wanna Read a Blog that likes Dawgs too?

Hot Dog Spot

These guys like em too, great reviews of eateries that serve dogs in LA.

ObamaDawg

Kent State Dogs by Nick

What a glorious picture. I went to Kent State to watch the women play UNC Wilmington. A friend of mine has a daughter who plays on the UNC team.

Dogs were a buck a piece. tasted great and the coeds serving them had horrendous service, but were easy on the eyes. That Nick Lachey look alike was to die for. Errrrrrr..... Jessica Simpson look alike, that was the one, right.

Anyway, had a lot of fun. Women play the game with so much more teamwork than the men. If I were to coach, it would have to be woman's team, men are pigs like that Nick guy was.

3 Hour Disney Dog

Took the daughters to Disney on Ice. What a treat. The audience contained what I presumed to be 50% pedo's. Men shouldn't be allowed to go to this event. If you know more than a 5 year old knows about Disney Princesses then you have a problem and should seek immediate medical/psychological treatment.

Anyway during the intermission, or for most men the popcorn box swap period, I went and grabbed this overpriced hot dog. Mistake. 3 hours later I was holed up in bathroom screaming sweet mercy from the bloating pain I received from this sam filled nastiness. I don't think ex-lax works this good.

The only downside to the show, in my opinion, was that it started off with the Genie from Aladdin, soon followed by a shark from Finding Nemo, which frightened my daughterat first. But as soon as we had princesses gliding across the ice, all was good. Cinderella, Belle, Ariel and Snow White graced the ice together, which was a magical number for any young princess in attendance. Including myself.

A Few Good Dogs

Son, we live in a world that has hot dogs, and those hot dogs have to be eaten by men with appetites. Whose gonna do it? You? You, Mr. Mole? I have a greater responsibility than you could possibly fathom. You weep for the Pig, and you curse the Doug. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know. That a dropped Hot Dog, while tragic, probably is still edible. And my existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, will eat that dog. You don't want the truth because deep down in places you don't talk about at parties, you want me eating that hot dog, you need me eating that hot dog. We use words like kraut, cheese, chili. We use these words as the backbone of a life spent eating something. You use them as a punchline. I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a man who rises and sleeps under the bun of the very hot dog that I consume, and then questions the manner in which I consume it. I would rather you just said thank you, and went on your way, Otherwise, I suggest you pick up a frank, and eat away. Either way, I don't give a damn what you think you are entitled to.

Betty

Meat and Bun

I encourage anyone who reads this god forsaken blog to try a month of hot dog debauchery. All I think about is hot dogs. Sex has taken a back seat in more ways than one. It's just all I think about is where is this adventure taking me next?

I have had several kinds of dogs through these first 17 days and must say that there has never been a time in my life where the pursuit of something so delectable was forefront on my mind. Work doesn't even matter any more. Social life, yeah right. It's all about the dogs and all that is good about those dogs.

Last Thursday night I had a couple dogs at the bowling alley that were simply delicious. Something triggered my brain after devouring them and I had a breakdown. Not quite sure what happened, but the dog blood went into danger mode. To make a short story shorter, I ended up throwing all my bowling gear into a trash can and took my second ball and sent it rolling down an adjacent street. It wasn't pretty.

Can I blame the dogs though? Maybe this blog. The pressure to post something witty or funny and produce a great story about a hot dog is a challenging task. Some may say it is just meat on a bun. I have found it is much more than that. It is the quintessential food of the pure blooded American. It's a Roy Rodgers or Shirley Temple in solid form. General Patton bows to the dog.

Nothing could be so simple. So elegant in its ability to just be what it is without anyone asking, "Hey, what you got there?" I believe hot dogs are more popular than Jesus and the Beatles combined. If you add Elvis it comes in a close second by 2 votes. The hot dog rules. Even Allah has to shout.

Meat and bun, simple. Add what you want after that perfect combination and you have yourself a work of culinary art. I love you hot dog. You have never let me down.

Homemade Chili Dogs

My lovely wife joined in the fun and made some boiled beef dogs and some chili. Homemade is best. Nothing to see here. I need to find another dog village today.

Have Bun Will Travel

Have Bun will travel - Cheesewurst Brats decorated will mustard and Ketchup on bread. George cooked these. Nothing to see here

Hail Roller, full of dogs

So I succumbed to the Mole and went out today and attempted a Couple of roller dogs.


The Menu at the Roller Grill - Country Fair convenience store across from the grind.


here you can see the dogs swimming in their own goo. You can't tell but there is blasphemy going on here as the two bottom meats are chicken. One is a Buffalo Chicken Ranch chicken dog and the other had is an Italian Spicy Chicken.

I didn;t eat the chicken I opted for a cheese dog and a kielbasa dog.




Speaking of blasphemy:

Hail Roller, full of dogs.
Our juice is with you.
Blessed are you among beef products,
and blessed is the fruit of your roll,
Holy Roller, full of dogs,
pray for us consumers,
now and at the hour of our death.
Dog on.

Bowling and Hot Dogs

You don't get much more American than this. Dogs and Bowling. A beautiful combination. Everyone in the world should make this their wallpaper on your computers and phones.

Bored, read science article about hot dogs: Science is cool

Mediocrity

3 more Kraut dogs. These things are delicious.

Mediocrity.

Roller Road Dog

Roller Road Dog: The last hot dog from the roller that you would never allow in your mouth because you know that it hasn't spun in an hour because of the build up of salmonella, and it had to be peeled from the rollers to make it in the bun.

These dogs to the left are not roller dogs, but more dogs from the Hermitage Hot Dog Hut. Cheese and kraut boys, cheese and kraut.

I don't do roller dogs. They are an embarrassment to a well manicured hot dog.

4-some with George

George Foreman should be proud. This here is a quad-dog done properly on a George Foreman grill. I ate two of these yummy Cheesewurst brats.

I should eat more dogs on this thing.










The outcome was quite nice as you can see in the picture below.

Bonus Blog Post from The Mole - Dallas Report

For every yin, a yang. While The Boz is diligently working away in Steeler Country, I was down in Dallas this weekend watching the Suh make his best pitch for the Heisman. Meanwhile, I was eating hot dogs. The Big XII Championship game was at the new Jerry Jones Cashitorium. As a stadium it is impressive. It is, however, a lousy place to watch a football game. The huge screens are so big you find yourself watching it instead of the players on the field. There is no information about yardage, etc. Even the down and distance is hidden. I guess if you have players like Romo you don't want too many distractions.

During pre-game warm ups there was this big announcement to the punters on the field, "Attention - this is Stadium Control. Do not punt balls into the screens. Any team doing so will be assessed for any damage." Really? They call themselves "Stadium Control?"
A few sections over a Husker fan stood up and yelled, "Attention Stadium Control, this is common sense. Do not build a football stadium with a screen 90 feet from the field!!"

Anyway, my first dog was suprisingly good. It was also from New York. A Nathan's Famous slathered in mustard from the concourse. And then the most wonderful thing happened. In the skybox, our host ordered lots of food, including an eight-dog roller machine with warming tray for the buns.

It was glorious. Unfortunately, it was the last great thing that happened during the game. I also note that the sign in front of the roller dogs said "NY Kosher Hot Dogs." Do you think the Cowboys' love of New York hot dogs had anything to do with their loss to the Giants the next day?

To console myself the next day I made my way out to Wild About Harry's, a hot dog and homemade custard joint. I was greeted by this happy fellow:

The dogs were tremendous. I had a Chicago and a Texas dog. The Chicago dog was remarkably authentic, but the Texas dog was actually better. Chili, cheese and onions. Wash that down with some homemade custard (Harry's mom's recipe) and that will cheer a boy up after a tough loss.

Harry's is opening a location in Austin too, so if you are a Texas fan you should consider yourself lucky. Again.

Dog on . . .

Neuter your Dogs

Yesterday as I was eating those glorious Jib Jab Hot Dogs, I noticed this sign on the way back to my vehicle.

At the top it says Hot Dog Parking, so I parked there. When I went to open the truck door I noticed this sign on the building door.

SPAY NEUTER CLINIC - PRIVATE ENTRANCE

My stomach rumbled a little. Odd having a Nueter clinic next door to a Hot Dog Shoppe.

I was hoping for a funny joke, but all I got was bad gas.

Speaking of bad gas, if you have time check out this blog over at the Huffo Post by MeatHead. Truly a man of the dog.

"...Every dog has its day, and for hot dogs that day is July 4. About 150 million hot dogs were wolfed down last Independence Day, enough to stretch from DC to LA more than five times, according to the National Hot Dog & Sausage Council. If you're planning a cookout for this most patriotic of days, here's an opportunity to celebrate the American dream. Because hot dog culture is American history."

Spayed and Neutered

Jib Jab Hot Dog Shoppe. Shoppe is often used to provide a sense of antiqueness to a place where you would buy crap. You can normally expect to pay 15% more at a place whose name ends in "shoppe." That theory went to hell. A hot dog with chili sauce $.99.

I heard of this place at our annual Christmas party. A long conversation about "coal mining friends" and bad jokes was all it took to get this heavenly hot dog location into the conversation.











Here is the plate as it arrived. 3 dogs, one with the chili sauce, one with cheddar sauce, and a plain dog.

I tore into the cheddar one first. Not a nacho sauce but a true cheddar taste. Delicious. I then ate the chili sauce dog. Way too much chili powder in there, but edible. After awhile it tasted real good and wish I ordered 2. Then I looked at the plain dog and thought, hmm what if I dump this chili sauce, cheddar sauce and fires on top? Heaven. A picture is worth a thousand words:













In all it's glory.... scrumptious. Follow up post to come about the parking lot.

Hot Dogs. The New Meat Candy.

May I introduce to you a little hole in the wall bar in Farrell, PA called Basilones. Check out the recipe card at a booth I sat at:


Look at those prices will ya. Inexpensive. I ordered a Kraut Dog, Hot Hot Dog, and a Margie Dog.

I am picky about my kraut and should had asked, but Basilones makes their own kraut like an old German lady does. It is good and then gets bad quick. I like my rotten cabbage from a can.

The Hot Hot wasn't bad. Bunch of banana peppers that have been stewed with an Italian red sauce and then topped with something hot.


This last dog, the Margie Dog should be entered into the best hot in the world contest. This thing had a blend of flavors and textures only a kid with ADD could appreciate. So much was going in in my mouth, soft bun, slimy peppers, something spicy hot, graininess of the chili, and a small sliver of provolone cheese and then the juicy yummy hot dog. What a combination of happiness for my mouth to devour. I highly suggest you try a Margie Dog. My mouth is begging for more.


Glorious: The one on the left is the Margie Dog.

I have to give big props to Bonnie my co-worker who led me to this fine hot dog establishment. Only 4 days into this ride and I am sure that nothing will top the Margie Dog.

This is also my last post until Next week when I will start eating homemade hot dogs. I will be visiting various butchers and grocery stores for the best wieners and franks I can find.

Ahh sweet sweet scrumptious Margie Hot Dog.

Bowling Dog

Had a scrumptious dog last night after bowling. This dog was served at the 11th Frame Lounge at Sunset Lanes in Farrell, PA.

When they cook the dog on the grill, they split it open and cook it from the inside out. It creates this delicious grill taste throughout the dog.

Cheese topping of course. This Dog will be named the "Hair of the Dog." After having the upset stomach from the earlier chili dogs, this single masterpiece made everything better.

Also, the dog was presented with class.

dog on....

Hot Dog meat is raised vegan so you don't have to be!

My cousin is a vegan.......

Anyone who has studied anthropology would know that early hominids that had meat in their diet had larger brains than the early hominids that had an exclusively vegetarian diet. There are a lot of theories about this finding, one of which is that meat provides more calories than vegetarian fare which allowed our ancestors to spend more time thinking and less time foraging. The ones that had the larger brains and could fuel those brains with meat survived better and passed those brains on to the next generation. On a side note, it's been hypothesized that early humans weren't necessary hunters, they were scavengers, so saying it is natural for us to eat meat might not be accurate but it may have helped make us smarter. This is why cows and pigs are so dumb cause they are vegans.

.... hence my cousin is stupid.

Today I visited Niko and Lous Coney Island in downtown Sharon, PA

500x the service level from the place yesterday. Chili Dogs. Lots of Chili Dogs. I am leery, to say the least of onions, so jumping into a Chili Dog is scary territory. I took the plunge.



I have a feeling this is going to come out looking exactly the way it went in. It was spicy and I ate 2 of them. I do not feel good about myself for doing so and I thought of vegan-ism while eating it. I concluded that vegans are still stupid.

This hot dog reminded me of this song for some reason:

When you see my face
I hope it gives you hell, I hope it gives you hell
When you walk my way
I hope it gives you hell, I hope it gives you hell
Hope it gives you hell
Tomorrow you'll be thinking to yourself
Where did it all go wrong?
But the list goes on and on

Nauseous on...

Meat: It's what you're made of

The general topic of what gives people the strength to persevere through times of overwhelming adversity is certainly an interesting one to me, and I think that knowing what you are made of, with the help of a hot dog, will help you through anything.

"Wisdom from Adversity with Hot Dogs"

• You can't know what will happen tomorrow-and it's better that way with hot dogs.
  
• You can't control what happens, just how you respond with hot dogs.
• Adversity distorts reality, but crystallizes the truth with hot dogs.
• Loss amplifies the value of what remains with hot dogs.
• It's easier to create new dreams than cling to broken ones with hot dogs.
• Your happiness is more important than righting injustices with hot dogs.

Next time you break open a fortune cookie after eating hot dogs at a Chinese Restaurant, add "...with hot dogs." at the end. You will be much better off in the days to come. "...in bed" is so 80's.


Day 2: Sharon Hot Dog Shop

Thank God they didn't spell it Shoppe or I would not had gone in. I had huge expectation from this joint. It was disappointing to say the least. I had the net worth of 500x what those eating had and I was carrying 5 bucks on me.

I bellied up to the 50's style diner counter and proceeded to order 3 hot dogs and a root beer. A sweet lady asked me if I wanted meat sauce. I am not big on eating condiments called meat something so I asked her what the meat sauce was. She said, "Don't ask me I just work here." No meat sauce thank you.

So 3 cheese only dogs (which looked like sprayed on cheeze whiz) consumed and a tasty root beer. Should the Mole come to PA I will make him eat the meat sauce.

Wheresoever you go, go with all your heart with hot dogs. - Confuscious

The Gateway Meat

Day 1 - The Gateway Meat

One of the most common arguments against hot dogs is to label it a gateway meat. This assertion implies that everyone who has ever experienced a great dog has gone on to bigger and better meats, and that offering hot dogs everywhere you go would be the downfall of society as we know it with meat addicts taking over. This has always seemed like an extremely weak argument; a grasping at buns kind of thinking.

So, at first glance calling hot dogs "the gateway meat" might seem reasonable, especially since the government has kept it in the same classification as horribly addictive meats such as kobe steak and prime rib while steadfastly ignoring any benefit hot dogs have to your health. But it seems more reasonable to claim that those who will abuse hot dogs or choose to eat brats will do so, no matter what the law says or which hot dog they started with. History proves this to be the case. The idea of there being a gateway meat is a trite concept perpetuated by those who are fearful or wish to keep hot dogs unhealthy with scare tactics.

The Place: Hermitage Hot Dog Hut (I will be going here 75% of the time during the month)



The Menu: Quite simple really. Famous Hot Dogs. How famous you may ask? You now know about them so they are famous.












The Dogs: I chose 3 dogs with kraut and cheese. A personal favorite of mine. This combination goes back to when I was in 5th grade at Top Dog in Bellevue NE eating footlongs at Top Dog.













All 3 devoured. Today was a good day.I leave you with some lyrics by a famous all beef hot dog eater himself, Ice Cube.

Just waking up in the morning gotta thank God
I don't know but today seems kinda odd
No barking from the dogs, no smog
And momma cooked a breakfast with no hog

Today was a good day

Dog on.......

The Boz - For Immediate Release 12-1-2009

For Immediate Release
Sharon, PA
12/1/2009

The Hot Dog Month Blog Announces the Franchise Player - The Boz

If I can't eat hot dogs, I can't eat hot dogs. It is as simple as that. It ain't about that at all. It's easy to sum it up if you're just talking about hot dogs. We're sitting here, and I'm supposed to be the franchise player, and we're talking about hot dogs. I mean listen, we're sitting here talking about hot dogs, not kielbasa, not sausage links, not those spicy wieners soaking in vinegar, but we're talking about hot dogs. Not the sandwich that I go out there and die for and eat every day like it's my last but we're talking about hot dogs man. How silly is that?

Now I know that I'm supposed to lead by example and all that but I'm not shoving that aside like it don't mean anything. I know it's important, I honestly do but we're talking about hot dogs. We're talking about hot dogs man. We're talking about hot dogs. We're talking about hot dogs. We're not talking about the 4 hour pot roast. We're talking about hot dogs. When you come to the hut, and you see me eat, you've seen me eat right, you've seen me give everything I've got, but we're talking about hot dogs right now.

Dog On? No way, the dog IS on.