Monday, November 30, 2009

Full Circle

4 states, 30 days, 74 dogs, over 1500 miles. My journey has brought me full circle. Back to my favorite spot, Portillos, for my final two sausages. The Prince picked up the spirit and paid it forward in Des Moines forcing our whiskey guzzling Irish friend to purchase and cook hot dogs for the first time. Subtracting the 2 turkey dogs leaves us with a grand total of 74.

Enough to make the Mole jealous of my sausage. Though most Nebraskans over compensate by spending $800 million on a baseball team, the Mole is reduced to "Bonus" posting over my blog.

Here are my top five dogs of the month:

1) The Weiners Circle-Char Dog, 2622 North Clark, Chicago, Illinois

2) Portillos-Chili Cheese Dog, Golf Road, Schaumburg, Illinois

3) Portillos-Grilled onion and cheddar cheese dog, Golf Road, Rolling Meadows, Illinois

4) Big Sammy's, Biesterfield, Elk Grove Village, Illinois

5) Scooby's, Arlington Heights Road, Arlington Heights, Illinois.

The side deal is done, the Halloween loot, though stale, is now mine.

I do finish my month with regret, that there was not enough time to hit The Brat Stop, Hot Doug's, Photos's, Jimmy's . . . along with weight gain, gout and a malfunctioning colon.

I leave you with one of my favorite sausage moments courtesy of U Tube . . .

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mkuPhs-Gjdw

Dog on,

The King

Saturday, November 28, 2009

The Final Push

Hit two foot long coneys at Sonic at 151st and Blackbob. Apparently, it took forever to make them. Wasn't worth the effort, the chilli was taco meat leftover from USD 231 hot lunch program and the dogs were limp and lost in the buns. The Prince kept up his end. The King 4.0 The Prince 3.0

Received many many turkey dogs for Thanksgiving as the King arrived for the Thanksgiving feast. Found a new condiment for dogs, stuffing from the turkey. Made two Jennie O turkey dogs draped with stuffing sprinkled some cheese and voila! Also hit some Italian Sausage. The King 3.5 The Prince 1.0

The King and Queen went to the royal court for evening entertainment. The particularly awful play of the No. 1 basketball team in the first half had the Queen anxious and sweaty. She beckoned her majesty to fetch her some water and popcorn. When I arrived at the royal Fieldhouse trough I realized that they had been properly warned of my arrival and named their dog the "All Beef Jay Dog". Yes please! I knew the Queen had sought popcorn, however she had never been disappointed in the "All Beef Jay Dog". I took the popcorn as a backup. When I arrived back at the royal perch, I offered the Queen my "All Beef Jay Dog". She politely refused to accept it in front of the 16,299 on lookers. Oh what she passed up. I am quite certain she was regretting it later as the All Beef Jay was a nice surprise. Properly steamed to the point where the bun welded it self to the dog casing and much like everything else in the Fieldhouse extra hot. The King 1.0 The Queen full of regret.

Friday, November 27, 2009

Bonus Blog Post From the Mole


People often (once) ask me "Where is the best hot dog place in Nebraska?" Until today I did not have a definitive answer for them (him). Now I do. Located in Grand Island, Nebraska is the Coney Island Lunch Room. Since 1933 this lunch counter has been serving authentic Coney Island style hot dogs and, according to the menu from 1933, "Mexican Chili" and "Italian Spaghetti".

Imagine how far away I would have had to stand if I weren't 6'8"

Just a single lunch counter and one row of booths populate this Grand Island icon. The experience is aided by the feeling that nothing has changed in 50 years. You feel like, at any moment, the door could burst open you could see (insert famous Grand Island icon from the 1950's here). The coney dogs are no longer a nickel as they were in 1933, but they are made simply with mustard, onions, and "Coney sauce" which resembles loose meat with spices. I knocked down three of them with a chocolate shake (a real shake, made and served in a metal cup that is too cold to hold).

I call this plate, "The Turkey Cleanser"

They were glorious. It is appropriate that I was able to enjoy these on Thanksgiving weekend, when we are to be reminded of all of the things we have in this country to be thankful for. A close second behind my family are the owner Gus and his son George who were working hard on this Friday afternoon, serving delicious dogs on a beautiful Husker gameday.

Dog on,

The Mole.

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

More Road Dogs

Sunday-The roller dog still working its magic. Hit Coaches in Overland Park, KS for the brunch. Destroyed their "pan-o-sausage" . The roller dog is now in the mirror, although Overland Park may need to issue a new bond for sewer improvements. The King 2.0 The Prince 0.0

Monday-Hit Mom's refrigerator for some frozen chilli and ballpark franks that are as old as Mom's first husband. Obligation fulfilled. The King 2.0 The Prince 2.0

Apparently Vienna Beef in Kansas is spelled "Sonic". Must hit the coneys. must hit the coneys. must hit the coneys. gotta go!

Sunday, November 22, 2009

The Traveling Dog Show

Thursday- Hit the Big Sammy's in Elk Grove Village on Biesterfield. 2 Chicago Red Hots. Great dogs. Juan, Sammy's personal dog chef, was full of information. No they are not Vienna Beefs. They are Chicago Red Hots. Apparently the nephew of the Vienna Beef people decided to branch out on his own, brought a milder dog to the table and called it a Chicago Red Hot. Picture to Follow. The King 2.0 The Prince 0.0

Friday-Made a very special trip to the World Famous "The Weiners Circle" improperly identified by the citizens of Chicago as "Weiner Circle" 2622 N. Clark. There is nothing circuitous about this fine establishment. As I drove by the first time I thought why is this called a Circle? On the fourth pass around looking for parking, I realized what they meant by Circle. Contrary to internet reports the staff was quite friendly at 10:30 AM. Maybe it was the site of a King in a suit that changed their attitude after the late night drunks had cleared or maybe everything on the internet is not always accurate? Anyway, the dogs did not disappoint. They were roasted on an open flame less than 3 feet from the counter. Nice homey touch. The Best Char Dog ever taken down by the King, and I was sober. Headed back to the highway, another sign caught my eye "Vienna Beef cafe and factory store" a/k/a the Heart beat of Chicago. Hit it for one more mid-morning dog. Picture to follow.The King 3.0 The Prince 0.0

Saturday- The Dog Show hits the road. Hit my first roller dog of the month at the Coralville Shortstop. The roller had been disseminated by Iowa football fans but left me a lone Ballpark, no bun. Jim Bob at the counter tracks down a lone bun in a bag, I added the "cheese of the day". No Ricos, new appreciation sets in for the Pig as the bun crumbles in my hand. The King 1.0 The Prince 0.0.

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Dog Porn/Three Dog Night

Brittany Spares.
.




Rico's dog full frontal
The Cleveland Steamer
Saturday-Italian Sausage. The King 1.5 The Prince 0.0
Sunday-after dinner mint. The King 2.0 The Prince 0.0
Monday-Hit a place called Scooby's. Doglicicious The King 2.0 The Prince 0.0
Tuesday-Tripled up on the homemade chilicheese dogs. The Prince couldn't hang. The King 3.0 The Prince 2.0
Wednesday- They are on the stove . . . The King 2.0 The Prince 0.0

Monday, November 16, 2009

Rico's the Profit Maker

Where is the King? Is he dead? Were the 24.5 links of encased meat the final death blow? Was the pressure of chasing the Mole too much?

It wasn't death but the spiritual journey of week two that had the King unavoidably detained.

Monday-The mental pressure of catching the Mole is too much . . . weak effort with one dog. The King 1.0 The Prince 0.0

Tuesday-Nothing like the Salvation Army (and free CLE) to get the King back on track. As I listened to Roy Adams discuss the diversification of ILIT assets and fiduciary liability, I could not help but think of my own Salvation. So I skip the free rubber chicken luncheon, hit the road looking for any dog and then a beacon of light strikes my face, as I clear the tears from my eyes and yank the car back to the middle of the road. I realize that I am not being pulled to the light. I nearly clip Famous Al's Beef sign. Make a quick U-Turn and hit the Al's for two chicago dogs. Pickles on hot dogs are still pickles. Awful. Fortunately these spicy vienna dogs don't get pushed around and over take the pickle juice. As I attempt to digest these monsters I realize that the Mole can be taken. The King 2.0 The Prince 0.0

Wednesday- One Italian Sausage. The Prince skips school and hits a regular dog. The King 1.5 The Prince 1.0

Thursday- Two Portillos dogs. The Prince hits one too. Mine lasts through the night, his doesn't. The King 2.5 The Prince 1.0 (I take an extra .5 for cleaning up the Prince's hot hot dog off the floor).

Friday-With the picture of the Prince's regerg dog floating through my head for 24 hours, I realize this is the make or break time. IT's time for RICO's THE PROFIT MAKER*! I shake off the Queen's friday fish sign. Go forth and bring me RICO. I step it up with two Chilicheese monster dogs. Beautiful dogs wearing a full serving of chili like pants. Drizzled with the fine nectar only known as "Rico's". The Rico's squirts your mouth filing all of the tiny openings not covered in chili. Rico's the profit maker? I say Rico's the Prophet Maker!
*Rico's the Profit Maker is used with the express written consent of the copyright holder, the Estate of Mark D. Cook. The King 2.0 The Prince still recovering.

Monday, November 9, 2009


SUPER BEARS! SUPERDAWG! SUPER BEARS! SUPERDAWG!
Week one is finished and so are the hapless Bears!
Wednesday-Hit the famous Superdawg Drive-in on Milwaukee for 2 Superdawgs! At $4.95 a piece I asked the guy if he had a gun, apparently that isn't as funny inside the City limits cause he wasn't laughing and I got the distinct impression after waiting 10 minutes that he was in the back "sacking" my dawgs. Well at least they last awhile still tasting them on Friday not in a good way The Prince 0.0 The King 2.0
Thursday- With my life spared by the mafia and the taste of the Superdawg still hanging around; I stayed close to home as the Queen prepared a beautiful Italian sausage. The Prince 0.0 The King 1.5
Friday-Nice surprise at the local Buona Beef (Beef is a term loosely used in this City that means BBQ pork ribs, hot dogs, Italian Sausage, hamburgers, salad and a sandwich with sweet peppers drowned in its own fat), daily double was only $3.75. They have definitely changed their dogs. Vienna beefs but much more manageable on the pallet. The Prince 0.0 The King 2.0
Saturday-Watching the KU football game and wondering if I will end up looking like Coach Mangino after this little month long experience. Not scared by that looming visual I suck down the 2 leftover Brats. The Prince is in for two plain dogs. The Prince 2.0 The King 3.0
Sunday-Out of Buns. Must wait til halftime. Queen too busy with yard work to realize my desperation. Hit the store for buns. Kurt Warner lights up the Bears again while I am gone. 2 ballpark franks. Fresher than the last bunch. The Prince is in again for 2. The Prince 2.0 The King 2.0

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

November 3rd

Yesterday- Hit my favorite Chicago hot dog chain, Portillos, for lunch downed two nine inch weiners. One was crowning a whole vadalia onion. It was real and it was spectacular! Not quite the firm snap I normally get from Dick's dogs. Delicious none the less. Made it past the picture of Jim Belushi without throwing up. The Prince-0 The King-2.0

Today-Bratacular! Made a Midwest swimming pool (1 bud light + 2 coors lights) for Johnsville Brats for the whole family! Smothered with sauteed yellow peppers and onions. The King hit two of them. The Prince stuck with his usual gig of a plain dog with ketchup. The Prince 1.0 The King 3.0

Sunday, November 1, 2009

The side deal

Every good Chicagoan knows that to get any monumental task accomplished there must be a "side" deal. Facing The Mole's century mark, it seemed impossible to accomplish alone. Therefore, I have enlisted the involuntary services of The Prince to help me accomplish this feat and keep the City of Chicago streets free of snow.

Day One. We catch a lucky break, U8 house soccer comes to an abrupt end with the cancellation of the last game. (probably the terribleness of my FC Dallas charge not necessarily the field conditions). That freed considerable time implement the "side" deal. Like any good competition there must be something at stake. The Prince's fresh Halloween loot shall be the price. I establish a strict joint order escrow account with the Queen to secure the Prince's loot. The winner of the "side" deal will also obtain the loot.

Although the cancellation of the soccer game now takes the soccer league's hot dog vendor, Frank, out of play for what would be an easy daily double. We retreat to the palace and polish off two freezer burnt Ballpark Beef Franks a piece (4). I take mine the way I always have bun with shredded cheddar cheese. The Prince has a hard time committing so he takes down one without bun and ketchup and one with bun and cheese. He is young but the force is strong with this one.

Can't wait to explain to him that his candy is now being held in escrow.

The Prince 2.0 The King 2.0