A Ball, a Don, and Something Wicked This Way Came

A delightful weekend was had by all. I attended an elegant ball which translates to "fancy shmancy dance" in hotdog lingo. It was the Aksarben Ball where my niece was a Page. Very pinkies up and the wife and I attended just a portion of it to watch our niece run up and down the catwalk almost in an effort to tell Right Said Fred she was too sexy for this ball.

I was able to get my doggly greased fingers on a program which included a menu for those dining at the event. Included were something something wellington, accompanied by a something something au gratin, and followed by a something something sorbet. (not Kevin Sorbo even though that would have been sweet). Suspiciously missing was any entree, side, or even appetizer of hot dogs. No smoked weenies, mini-corndogs, full corndogs, or even bacon wrapped dog-bites which I assumed determined how fancy your event could be. Needless to say I don't regret skipping out on the meal knowing what I know now. Did my recent hotdog consumption give me a sort of spidey-sense to know where hotdogs will be? more on super powers later.

To get back on my feet, or dogs if you will (get it? it's a pun...loser) I was blessed to break bread with some family on Sunday morning. After strolling in and getting my coffee i was informed that a seperate basket of sausage and buns were made for my "special diet." The funniest thing was not that someone went through the effort to do this, but to say in all seriousness that this was for my "diet." I have never been given such special treatment. It reminds me of the scene in Goodfellows when Henry Hill said, "One day some neighborhood kids carried my mom's groceries all the way home for her. You know why?....out of respect"

When I am bragging too all of my friends about my hot-dog eating I can say..."When I go to brunch people make hot dogs just for me. You know why....out of pity?"

To get back to my quest I killed a breakfast polish Sausage at 0800 hrs (that's 8 am for you normies) form the BP at 72nd and 370. Decent product, terrible condiments, average price.

Then for lunch checked out the Eddies at 96th and Giles. The dogs were tiny little Wimmers and the Polish Sausage was purplish and shriveled*. A bizzare twist....awesome condiments. A little counter and fresh onions with packet ketchup. It was almost as if the Hotdog bar was fighting itself. Pretty much exactly like that Superman movie.

2 polish and 4 sausage links

dog on