Day 31: The Return of the Costco-Dog

Well friends, I made it.

I ate my final hot dog of the month at the Costco in Alpharetta, GA. A bit anti-climactic, but at least this 1/4 pound dog adds two to my tally. In total, taking into consideration brat/footlong conversion rates, I consumed 63 hot dogs.

63 hot dogs is a lot, but it is not nearly as impressive as The Mole's 100 hot dogs last month. It is even less spectacular when you consider that Joey "Jaws" Chestnut ate 68 hot dogs in 10 minutes to win the 2009 Nathan's hot dog eating contest. Nevertheless, I'm proud of my achievement. I still averaged over 2 hot dogs per day, though just barely.

In terms of physical condition, I could not be healthier. I am officially down 1.5 lbs. My biceps are stronger. My abs are tighter. My skin feels better. I have more hair on my chest.

There will be doubters. To them, I submit the following photographic evidence of my transformation. On August 1st, I was weak, pale and sad. I had little ambition and drooled all over myself:

Look at me 30 days later. I am strong like a bull, smart as a fox, and hung like a horse:

In all seriousness, Hot Dog Month was an absolute blast, and I am sorry it is over so soon.

I owe a tremendous amount of thanks to my friends and family for allowing me to have so much fun with it. Special thanks to my wife. She endured many hot dog meals herself, and several lonesome nights while your truly sat in front of a computer trying to think of funny things to say about wieners.

As the sun sets on my Hot Dog Month, it rises for our next challenger, known to me only as "Big Doug of Nebraska". Good luck, Big Doug!

German Dogs, et al.

A few more hot dog adventures to report before my last big day.

August 27 - Naked Dog

Just one home-made naked dog to report. Hot dog count: 55.

August 28 - Corn Dog

Another boring day - a single corn dog at dinner time. Hot dog count: 56.

August 29 - German Dogs

After two pretty weak single-dog days I decided to step it up a bit and seek out some authentic German sausages. Wound up at a place called "German Restaurant" in Stone Mountain, GA. Clever name, eh? A bit of a haul out there from our place, and it you always risk bumping into a Civil War reenactment driving through Stone Mountain, but the trip was totally worth it. First of all, this place had a really interesting and impressive beer menu. For an appetizer they brought us a huge frickin' pretzel -- the most awesome pretzel I had ever seen or tasted:

I ordered a sausage plate for lunch with Knackwurst and Weisswurst. They were sausagey and delicious.

Per the USDA conversion rates, I get to add a total of three to my count. Hot dog count: 59.

August 30: Well-Paired Dogs

We spent the day at a friend's house, hoping to swim, but Mother Nature had different plans. No disappointment here: our hosts were thoughtful enough to serve hot dogs and sausages for lunch! Even more impressive, they paired the dogs with bottles of Duck Horn and Silver Oak. Sort of like wearing a tuxedo to a hoe-down, but hey - it worked.

Hot dog count: 61.

Dog on...for one more day...

The Mexican Lives!

No, I am not dead, as some of you have undoubtedly concluded.

Things just got a little hectic at work. Unfortunately, the phrase "I couldn't deliver the software enhancement on time because I was writing about hot dogs" wasn't going to fly. As an independent contractor, I have no rights under HABLA (the Hot-dog And Brat Leave Act of 2009), which allows an employee to take up to 31 days of job-protected leave to focus on the consumption of sausages.

In any event, we have some catching up to do. It has been a busy 10 days since my last post:

August 17: Home Dogs

Two home-cooked Yellow Dogs (plain w/ mustard only). Hot dog count: 37.

August 18: Bobby G's

I was delighted to find Bobby G's Chicago Eatery, just a mile or two from my office. The interior is covered with Chicago memorabilia, and the menu will make any Windy City native feel right at home. And the dogs? Wonderful. Hot dog count: 39.

August 19: Late-Night Dog

One Yellow Dog at One-O'Clock in the morning. Generally, not a good idea to eat after 7:00 PM. The exception to this rule is, you guessed it, hot dogs. Hot dog count: 40.

August 20: Birthday Cake Dogs

Celebrated my birthday with a specially designed hot dog cake. We're not talking about some banal creation simply shaped like a wiener or decorated with faux-condiment frosting. This thing really had weenies in it:

(Those franks became slightly more erect when I blew out the flames. It was creepy.) Hot dog count: 42

August 21: Turner Field Dogs?

No! I'm almost embarrassed to admit this, but I went to a Braves-Marlins game at Turner Field and did NOT eat a hot dog. I did eat two dogs when I got home. But then two dogs don't make a right, do they? Hot dog count: 44.

August 22: Frog-Dog

You readers might not believe this, but yours truly -- The Mexican -- is actually 25% French. Don't hold it against me. Anyway, this morning I decided to do my part in repairing American-French relations. I thought if I could somehow merge the distinctly American tradition of cooking hot dogs with traditional French cuisine, the world would be a better place. Not a bad goal for a Saturday morning.

To start, I whipped up a mean batch of crêpes:

Next, I sliced up a dog (on the bias), sauteed the pieces for a few minutes, then deglazed the pan with some white wine:

Finally, I filled a crêpe with the dogs and a few bits of triple-cream Brie cheese.

Ce' magnifique! Hot dog count: 45.

August 23: Sabbath Dog

Even the Good Lord took a break once in a while; no hot dogs were consumed today.

August 24: More Home Dogs

Two home-cooked Yellow Dogs. Hot dog count: 47.

August 25: Half-Century

Two chili-dogs and one slaw-dog from The Varsity for lunch today. They slid out just as easily as they slid in. Hot dog count: 50.

August 26: Greek Dogs

Lunch at A&W again for two chili-cheese Coney dogs with onions. For dinner tonight I took a crack at Greek-inspired hot dogs: toppings included a homemade lemon-garlic-oregano sauce, feta cheese, tomatoes and olives. Would have been better on a pita, but only had white bread. In the end, very salty and weird. Hot dog count: 54.

Did Hot Dogs Kill The Mexican?

No. Hot dogs did not kill The Mexican. We can only assume that in his meat-induced euphoria he has lost the inclination to post about his adventure and instead is just living the Hot Dog Life. Perhaps the search for that next dog has consumed him and he is simply wandering around like so much Cheech and Chong.

Nevertheless, I can't allow the internet rumor mill to start talking about how the dogs killed him or at least shut down that part of his brain that he uses to log in and write about his various mouthfuls of sausage. Who knows? What we do know is that hot dogs, consumed in moderation, or in abundance, improve quality of life and promote follicle growth. It has also been shown to add luster to your coat.

The Mole.

Dog on . . .

BONUS BLOG POST FROM THE MOLE!!

For those of you (The Mexican and my wife) who followed the Mole's inaugural hot dog voyage in July you may recall the entry called the Hot Dog Diet. Kind of tongue in cheek, but I did lose 4 pounds during the month in which I ate 100 hot dogs.

Well, the good news just keeps on coming. Yesterday I had some bloodwork done and my cholesterol is off the charts - good! Compared to a year ago I shaved 50 points off my bad cholesterol and added 15 to my good. Blood pressure is 100/44. Thats right, I'm 18 again. Its like a hot dog fueled time machine for your heart. I had the following exchange with my female doctor:

"So did you do anything different lately, are your working out a lot?"

"Well, in July I ate 100 hot dogs."

Blank stare.

"I just started eating them and decided to see how many I could eat and wrote a blog about it."

Blank stare. "Really? Why?"

"Well, until now I never really had a good reason, but now I can tell people that I did it for my health and I have your medical opinion to support the results that hot dogs lower cholesterol and blood pressure while adding to the enjoyment of life."

Blank stare. "Anything else?"

"Just diet and exercise, but there is no reason to believe that had any impact. Lots of people try that."

I'm still quite certain she doesn't really know what happened during that conversation, so it may be a bit more difficult to get her to sign on to be our medical spokesperson when we do the infomercial. Nevertheless, science don't lie (unless we're talking about evolution). So to The Mexican and all future Hot Dog Bloggers, now you have a response for those Whole Foods types that are questioning the health effects of eating hot dogs for a month. In fact, I dream of a day that hot dogs are prescribed for their medicinal value. Broken leg? 50 hot dogs. Obesity? Eat lower fat hot dogs (and try to keep it to 5 per feeding). Diabetes? Wilford Brimley says to eat hot dogs with Splenda.

Hear that Obama? You are from Chicago, home of the greatest dog. You are missing a golden opportunity to combine Chicago dogs with your health care reform and become the greatest President ever. Instead, you are throwing terribly attended parties at the White House (free beer and only two people show up? Lame friends.) I knew we should have elected a grown up. Maybe if you would have had a Chicago dog you would have had the strength to throw a baseball all the way to home plate. Or wear boy pants. Nevertheless, lets not let our girly president detract from the staggering medical study performed by one person on one person with no control and no real testing protocol. Lets simply take a few facts out of context and blend them together to support our pre-determined result. Hot dogs, consumed in large quantities, improve overall health, heart health, cholesterol, and general awesomeness.

And Happy Birthday to The Mexican. Hot dogs can even make you older. Is there anything they can't do?

Dog on. . . .

Mike's Hot Dogs

This afternoon my wife and I took the twins to Mike's Hot Dogs in Sandy Springs for lunch. I had been to Mike's several times in the past, so I already knew that these would be the best hot dogs in Atlanta.

Like all good restaurants in the ATL, Mike's is located in a strip mall. The Vienna Beef sign is an indication that you've come to the right place for quality dogs.

The walls are covered with Chicago history, sports and hot-dog related memorabilia.

My favorite was this poster from Vienna. As a reminder, I'll punch you in the face if I see you putting ketchup on a hot dog.

I ordered two Chicago Dogs with everything on them, and they were wonderful. All of the ingredients are authentic, right down to the freaky bright-green relish.

Check out this cross-section of my first dog (I always squeeze the hot peppers inside the dog so they don't go shooting across the room when I chomp down, potentially blinding one of my co-eaters).

The only thing at Mike's that that turned my stomach were a handful of White Sox posters, but I guess Atlanta is technically south of Madison Street, so we'll let that slide.

Hot dog count: 35

Dog on...

Swamp Dog

Had a couple of home-made dogs w/ mustard for lunch today. I should be investing in ConAgra Foods (they own Hebrew National).

For dinner, I decided to make some gumbo. I didn't have the foresight to throw a dog or two into the gumbo, so I did the next best thing: loaded up a hot dog with a pile of gumbo and hot sauce. Kind of like a Chili Dog, but more disgusting. I named it Swamp Dog, inhaled it, and spent the rest of the night battling a Category Four hurricane in my belly.

Hot dog count: 33

Dog on...